Modern music must be destroyed.

I have a first-generation iPod Shuffle. It's not the coolest thing on the block, but it does the job. It holds about eight hours' worth of music, which is still pretty freaking amazing when you think that when I started listening to rock back in the 1980s, the most compact forms of portable music player were boom boxes the size of a small guitar amp. Compact discs had only just been invented, but no one had heard of them yet, and a DVD was some nasty form of sexually-transmitted disease. So younguns, don't snigger at me because I haven't gotten around to getting a Nano or something yet: when I was a kid that word didn't even have a meaning.

Now, as we all know, the great thing about iPods and MP3 players is that you don't have to flip the cassette over every half an hour or so, and they're less wear on the shoulders. For me, being able to listen to my favourite music for eight hours straight through a little white stick the size of my index finger is awesome. And when I get back to the first song, I can either switch it to shuffle and hear them all again in a different order, or plug it in to my computer and replace them all with other songs.

Watching Channel [V] on a Sunday is apparently rather like my iPod, except that when they get to the end of their three-hour playlist, they just repeat everything they've just played without even bothering to change the order. All they do is give it another title, like "Crucial Cuts" or "Top Downloads" as if it's a bunch of different songs, even though it actually isn't. Since arriving at work just before 7 this morning, I've heard the same polished, auto-tuned, electronic bullshit songs-about-nothing again and again, all day. In fact, it's so brain-frying that they just slipped a Nickleback song into the mix and I'm glad! I'm actually so happy just to see a dude playing a guitar that I don't even care that it's Chad Kroeger. In fact, this is probably half the reason Nickleback has sold so many records: after endless repeats of mindless Black Eyes Peas garbage, bad Michael Jackson rip-offs from Usher and that song from that chubby Irish dick who used to fuck Delta Goodrem which is so auto-tuned it sounds like Justin Beiber is singing it, people are so glad to hear something different they'll even listen to the worst rock band in history.

Wait! Muse just came on. Just in time to switch over to the footy.

Typical.